I read a quote recently that blew my mind…
“I think when you care for someone, you truly want what’s best for them. You smile when they laugh, celebrate their wins and suffer together through the losses. You adore the moments you share and give them enough space to be free. But part of wanting what’s best for another may involve accepting when your paths are no longer intertwined. It’s not to say that the moments you had aren’t real, but rather coming to terms with the inevitable truth that sometimes showing someone how much you love them means letting them go.”
Breakups can be excruciating. They can tear you down and make you feel lost. You can feel inadequate or like a failure. You may even feel like you will never find that true love. Did you miss your chance? Did “the one” get away? This quote challenged me to really think and re-examine the idea of “the one” and of soulmates. It also made me reflect back on a recent breakup and wonder about the role we played in each other’s lives. While it did not end how either of us would have hoped, we both learned tremendous lessons from the relationship. We were able to love on a different level and experience things better than ever. We had a dynamite love built on mutual love and respect. We clicked in every way possible and there was nothing I would rather do at the end of a long day than rub my partner’s feet and hear about their day.
in the end, particulars became too much. We lived nearly 3 hours away and opportunities to close those gaps were minimal. As things got tough and dragged on, the relationship continued to strain. A relationship that was once so promising was being run down by two tired people looking to try to keep that spark going.
The relationship went on far too long and it was nobodies fault. We both wanted so desperately to feel that love that was inside of us – and is still inside of us. But you can have the greatest chemistry in the world but if you don’t have the right timing….well, the timing can be a real asshole.
I loved this person more than I have ever loved anyone in my life. I truly believed they were my soulmate. Perhaps the idea of a soulmate is tough these days. Maybe there is that one perfect person out there for everyone and some are lucky enough to find it, but perhaps in this day an age that is harder to do. But what if we all have several people out there for us? The idea that there could be many people who we totally click with and that we all have several people that we may be better suited with. Regardless, it takes a lot of work. Love is hard. The more intimately you know someone the clearer their flaws become. You may love someone deeply but how do you respond when they are down on their luck, they’re out of money, or they are under pressure that you cannot understand? Love is pain and sacrifice, it’s seeing darkness in another but still choosing them every single day.
We all deserve that amazing, once in a lifetime kind of love. We deserve to be fulfilled and have a partner that we love and can bring out the best in us as we bring out the best in them. We cannot settle. And saying you cannot settle does not mean someone is a bad person or that you are better than them but it simply means that at this point they are not the person for you – and that’s ok.
Its a fine line to figure out where to go with love. How hard do you fight and give it everything you have vs leaving when it’s not feeling right? My partner and I fought so hard to keep our relationship going. There was no question that our relationship did not fail because of love but the particulars became too much to handle. I wouldn’t have changed it. We fought like hell to make it happen but it was just too much to overcome. We gave it the fight it deserved and I’m proud of that. This quote gives me a better feeling that we did the right thing and that we will both be better off for it. It may be hard to say goodbye but it can be the best thing for everyone involved. So much good ahead.